Life is not a Math Problem

As you can see from reading the previous blog post; I used to be very inconsistent with my goals. I worked my butt off‘till I found the taste of something newer and sweeter. Every “goal” I would say – “Ok, Kahn; this is it – you’re going to follow through on this one.” But I wouldn’t. “Not being able to follow thorough” was a fault of mine that I thought I could fix like a math problem. I was wrong.

My grandfather smoked for more than 30 years (all before I was born). As the story goes – he caught a bad cold, couldn’t smoke, and decided not to go back to smoking when the cold passed. He quit cold turkey. He didn’t cut down to two cigarettes a day, he didn’t transition to nicotine gum – he just quit a bad habit. However, this same approach did not work when it came to saving money and building a future for his family (as mentioned in the previous blog post). He had to take baby steps to find the consistency needed to reach his financial and lifestyle goals.

This is where the math problem analogy comes into play. A bad habit and a personality flaw are slightly different. Breaking bad habits are more about sustaining will power and resisting temptations. With personality flaws – you actually have to work through them, pick yourself apart, find out the “why,” discover the “how,” and put yourself back together again slowly.

Because I was an “only child,” because I never had much family within the state, because I was a loner – sharing space, sharing time, and being unselfish with my wife were things I had to develop. It’s a process I still have to regulate because the “loner” aspect of my personality was/is so strong.

I knew a young lady years ago with extreme jealous and resentment problems. Her anger thermometer would go from 60 to 120 degrees in less than 15 seconds! She knew this was an issue and had ruined many friendships because of this. After many failed attempts to “fix” herself cold turkey, she finally changed her approach and spent many years to understand, find, and successfully reinvent herself. She was able to partition all her “fight” just to her career goals without letting it carryover to her personal relationships. It’s something she still has to monitor.

So many people don’t fulfill the ultimate transition within themselves because they try to make the “drastic change.” It could be anger management issues, excessive spending, overeating, etc.. It could even be something like “over working” – that could breed positively results monetary wise but bad results with it comes to relationships and family time organization.

You can’t solve a personality flaw like a math problem. You can’t just “minus” a bad attribute away from your personality. You have to change classes; understand that restructuring personality flaws are more like essays that you need to continue and continue to write and edit.

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